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I’m sorry. I should have said something. I should have done something. I didn’t.
So you know that old phrase, see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil? It's that. Well, it's more like cult mindset, but they're kinda similar, so…
When that girl went missing, I knew what had happened, but I said nothing. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.
Then you came in, asking questions I knew the answers to and a few I didn't.
You made me feel… brave? scared? safe? in danger? calm? horrified? I don't know what, but it made me think.
You disappeared. I almost said something. Then my back turned black and blue and red. I didn't.
So when John came and I fought not to scream get out while you can, I thought of you, and I almost stayed silent like when she vanished or you.
But I spoke.
Father assigned me to show him around, probably with the intent to abandon him in the woods. Instead of killing, we talked. I told him everything. You would be proud of me.
It started with something like "you need to leave" and he asked why and I said "the girl isn't here, she's not going to be found, Father's too smart for that" and he asked what I meant and it all came rushing out.
It's been five years since you came. Four since John came. Three and a half since they found your body. Three and a half since we buried you. Three since I started therapy. Three since Father went to jail. Two and a half since the scars started fading. Two since I started talking regularly. One and a half since all of the court cases ended. One since I broke down in the middle of the night sobbing because my idiocy had cost your life. One since John held me as I cried.
Five years. Five years. For a girl expecting to never make it to twenty-one, that's a lot. I'm twenty-two now, in case you didn't know. Today's my birthday. When we met, I was sixteen. I was an idiot at sixteen. I was still an idiot at seventeen, but I was less of an idiot enough to end this. I just wish I could've gotten to know you better. I suppose it doesn't matter now.
Thank you for five years and sorry for my mistake.